Everyone feels angry sometimes, it is normal and healthy to become angry when there is good reason to do so. It is important to do something with those angry feelings and not bottle them up. losing your temper can make things worse.
What makes you angry?
A few things that can make you angry are:-
- Someone hurting you
- Getting shown up in front of others
- Changes in the family makeup, such as parents separating.
- Feeling let down
- Something feeling unfair
- Being asked to do something you would rather not do
- Not being heard
- Pressure from family or school
- Things not going the way you wanted
How might you show our anger?
- Hit others
- Shout at others
- Hang out with people who might get you into trouble
- Break things
- Lose control
- Annoy other people
Sometimes you might turn the anger and hurt feelings in on yourself, leading to:-
- Eating problems
- Feeling low
- Putting yourself in danger
- Not talking to anyone
- Harming yourself
- Drinking alcohol
- Misusing drugs
Recognise the angry feelings
Due to the hormone adrenaline being released when you get angry your body will react, teeth clench, shoulders tense, heart goes faster, fists clench, and muscles tense, all natural normal reactions that can warn you when you are becoming angry.
It may be something that happened a long time ago causing you to over re-act to different things now and it can take a lot of courage to ask for help, but it is important that you try and talk to someone that you trust. If nobody comes to mind then you could ask your doctor to refer you to a counsellor or someone who can give you the skills to manage better.
What can you do to manage your anger?
Buy yourself time to think. Sometimes when we’re feeling angry, we just need to walk away from the situation for a while. This can give you time to work out what you’re thinking about the situation, decide how you want to react to it and feel more in control. This can be difficult but over time it becomes easier, the more you do it.
Count to ten before reacting, also talking to a trusted friend who is not connected to the situation, expressing your thoughts out loud can help you understand why you are angry and help calm you down.
Some techniques to manage your feelings
Breathe slowly-try to breathe out longer than you breathe in and focus on each breath.
Relax your body –if you feel your body becoming tense, try focusing on each part of the body in turn to tense it and relax your muscles CLICK HERE for more help with relaxation techniques
Use up some of your energy safely – this can help relieve some of your angry feelings without hurting anyone. Tear up some newspaper, punch a pillow, smash ice cubes into the sink.
Do something to distract yourself –put on some upbeat music and dance, drawing and colouring, take a cold shower.
Try mindfulness techniques. Download this app onto your phone and give it a try.